The Search

The Search is NF's first single in 2019. This song is about his battle to find hope along with the demons that are holding him down.

Lyrics
“Hey, Nate, how's life?”

I don't know, it's alright

I've been dealin' with some things like every human being

And really didn't sleep much last night (Last night)

“I'm sorry,” that's fine

I just think I need a little me time

I just think I need a little free time

Little break from the shows and the bus rides (Bus rides), yeah

Last year I had a breakdown

Thoughts tellin' me I'm lost gettin' too loud

Had to see a therapist, then I found out

Somethin' funny's goin' on up in my house

Yeah, started thinkin' maybe I should move out

You know, pack my cart, take a new route

Clean up my yard, get the news out Hang up my heart, let it air out (Air out)

I've been searchin'

“What does that mean, Nate?” I've been learning

Grabbin' my keepsakes, leavin' my burdens

Well, I brought a few with me, I'm not perfect

Lookin' at the view like, this concerns me

Pickin' up the cues, right? I'm quite nervous

Hate it when I lose sight, life gets blurry

And things might hurt me

It's prolly gonna be a long journey, but hey (But hey)

It's worth it, though

Cold world out there, kids, grab your coats

Been a minute, I know, now I'm back to roam

Lookin' for the antidote to crack the code

Pretty vivid; I admit it, I'm in classic mode

Don't need pity given to me, but I can't condone

Talkin' down to me, I'ma have to crack your nose for crackin' jokes

I'm lookin' for the map to hope, you seen it? (You seen it?)

Been makin' a whole lot of changes

Wrote a song about that, you should play it

I get scared when I walk on these stages

I look at the crowd and see so many faces, yeah

That's when I start to get anxious

That's when my thoughts can be dangerous

That's when I put on my makeup and drown in self-hatred

Forget what I'm saying, and—

Where'd the beat go?

Oh, ain't that somethin'?

Drums came in, you ain't see that comin'

Hands on my head, can't tell me nothin'

Got a taste of the fame, had to pump my stomach

Throw it back up like I don't want it

Wipe my face, clean off my vomit

OCD, tryna push my buttons

I said don't touch it, now y'all done it

I can be critical, never typical

Intricate with every syllable, I'm a criminal

Intimate, but never political, pretty visual

Even if you hate it, I'll make it feel like you're in it, though

You call me what you wanna, but never call me forgettable

Leave you deep in thought, I could never swim in the kiddie pool

Way that I been thinkin' is cinematic, it's beautiful

Man, I don't know if I'm makin' movies or music videos (Videos, videos, videos)

Yeah, the sales can rise

Doesn't mean much though when your health declines

See, we've all got somethin' that we trapped inside

That we try to suffocate, you know, hopin' it dies

Try to hold it underwater but it always survives

Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise

Then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies

You don't relate to that? Must not be as crazy as I am

The point I'm makin' is the mind is a powerful place

And what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way

It's pretty cool, right? Yeah, but it's not always safe

Just hang with me, this'll only take a moment, okay?

Just think about it for a second, if you look at your face

Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great

You'll never be great—not because you're not, but the hate

Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith (Woo)

I am developin', take a look at the benefits

Nothin' to meddle with, I can never be delicate

Am I even relevant? That depends how you measure it

Take a measurement, then bag it up and give me the evidence

It's pretty evident; dependable can never be tentative

I'm a gentleman, depending on if I think you're genuine

Pretty elegant, but not afraid to tell you to get a grip

Proper etiquette, I keep it to myself when I celebrate, ah (Ah)

It's that time again

Better grab your balloons and invite your friends

Seatbelts back on, yeah, strap 'em in

Look at me, everybody, I'm smilin' big

On a road right now that I can't predict

Tell me "Tone that down," but I can't resist

Y'all know that sound, better raise your fist

The search begins, I'm back, so enjoy the trip, huh